121 Stories - Developing A Relationship With The Lord

Developing Your Personal Relationship With Jesus.

Jackie Drew
Feb 15, 2021    6m
Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus? You can learn from one person's testimony that you can move past your upbringing and begin to grow spiritually in your own personal walk with Jesus. Video recorded at Grapevine, Texas.

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Jackie Drew: 00:04 My name is Jackie Drew, and my husband Rick and I have been at 121 for about four years now, and we have three kids David's in seventh grade, Charlie's in fourth grade, and Riley is in first grade. Rick and I, even though we have these structures where they do go to a Christian school and we do go to church, I think a lot of our, the way that we parent, has to do with lots of conversations, bringing our Christianity into everything, it's part of everything that we do. So you're taking a walk and wow, I love how God made this sunset, or you know, just trying to make it as concrete and as part of our everyday conversations that we can.

Jackie Drew: 00:44 From the time that I was little, I remember my parents making religion the priority in our home. We went to church every Sunday, we prayed, we also had a lot of memorized prayers. I don't remember much growing up praying from my heart and just praying what God had laid on our heart, it was more saying prayers that were memorized. As a child I internalized a lot, that I was to do the right thing because it was the right thing. I also had a big people pleaser part of me, where I wanted to do the right thing because I wanted to make my mom and dad proud of me, I wanted to make my teachers proud of me, and my friends proud of me. And what I found through growing up like that, and putting that pressure on myself, is that I didn't have a lot of freedom. I grew up where we had to go to a priest in order to say our sins to somebody else, and when I did that, I remember I was terrified to go do that. Not because I was convicted, but because I was worried what the other person would think about me.

Jackie Drew: 02:06 I met my husband, Rick, we actually met our freshman year in college. And church had been a big part of both of our lives, and so we decided that we were going to try to find a church to go to together. He had a lot of questions that he didn't understand why we did things a certain way, and just kind of shared some of his feelings. And it really got me starting to think, why do I do things the way that I do? Why do I believe these things? And so I remember this particular church sermon, and he was comparing going to church with basically a man dating a woman. And he said, I want you to picture this man shows up at your house and he has a rose for you, and he gives you this rose and he says, I'd like to get this to you because that is what I've done with every other girl, and so I want to do that with you. Well, that's not going make you feel loved, what if he says, I'd like to give you this rose because my parents told me I should do that, again, that's not going to help. And so he gave lots of those examples and said, the only way that you're really going to feel loved and pursued is if he says, I'm giving this to you because I like you, and I want to be with you, and I want to spend time with you. And it just, I remember at that moment, the Holy Spirit just really imprinting that on me. And that, Lord, I don't want to come to church, I don't want to have this, you know, I don't want to follow you just because it's what I've always done, and it's because it's what I've done every Sunday. I want to do it because I want to do it, because I want to relationship with you.

Jackie Drew: 03:46 And so that was like this, that was when I really started noticing a change in my own heart. Why was I doing the things that I did? Why was I going to church? Why was I, you know, all of those things that I wanted to do it because I wanted, and because it was something that I chose, it wasn't just this is what we've always done, this is what we do as Christians, but it's because I want a relationship with Jesus. And so I believe as I grew up and my relationship with the Lord changed, I realized I didn't need to go to anybody, I just needed to go straight to the Lord.

Jackie Drew: 04:25 Naturally, I am a very OCD type of person, I am a planner, I like to plan everything out. And that is one of the ways that I really feel like I've grown over the years, is living independently from God, to then depending on him for each and every step. By nature I am someone who likes to checklist, and dot my i's, and do everything by the book. And so I think the enemy has twisted that in my life a lot, where some of those character traits are good things, being faithful, waking up every morning reading my Bible, going to church, praying, those are great things, and the more faithfully we can do that, obviously the better. But I think that the devil has twisted that, and created a lot of shame and guilt in my mind and heart, when I didn't perform or do those things correctly.

Jackie Drew: 05:41 I feel like in the past, I used to make a lot of decisions independent from God. I knew God was there, I knew a lot of things about him, but I didn't have the relationship with him, and so a lot of my decisions were made independent of what he wanted me to do. And I feel like over the years, there's a lot that I've just learned about surrendering to him. Maybe I want to do something, but he doesn't want that for me, and so just taking again, each step of that to him. If there is a day that I'm struggling with anxiety and I can't get up off the couch, he is just as proud of me as he is the day that I'm doing things for him.

Recorded in Grapevine, Texas.
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121 Community Church
2701 Ira E Woods Ave.
Grapevine, Texas 76051